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Hello all, I’m Jennifer. For so long I accepted that I did not need to know or understand why or how God worked in my life. I just trusted Him. I still do trust Him. There is so much peace to be received in that and I am blessed to have that kind of relationship with Him. I’ve recently learned in a KabU teaching video about the right and left lines and the balance between the two. I have been right aligned the majority of my life. I always studied and prayed for His guidance but am definitely right line heavy. The more I learn of the depths of His heart the more everything comes into completeness. The study of Kabbalah is building my left line…which was a lot shorter that I had realized!
Yes, I do. So I try to keep my thoughts in check. If I don’t like the way I’m feeling I ask myself why and then think about what is good in the circumstances causing these feelings and what I can learn from it.
There was a man who lived in the mountains who came, for the first time in his life, to see the way people lived in the city. The man who lived in the mountains ate a diet of raw wheat kernels, so he was puzzled when the city people gave him good bread to eat.
“What is this?” he asked.
The city people answered, “It’s bread. It’s for eating.”
He ate it and it was very good. He asked, “What is it made of?”
They told him, “It’s made from wheat.”
Later, they brought the man cakes of flour mixed with oil. He tasted them and asked again, “What are these made of?”
Again, the people told him, “They are made from wheat.”
Afterwards, the city people gave the man pastry fit for a king made with oil and honey. The man asked, “What is this made of?”
They answered, “It’s made from wheat.”
The man then said, “Enough. I am the master of all of these things, for I eat the essence of all of them — wheat!”
This is what he thought, but actually he knew nothing of the world’s delights. It was lost on him. Thus it is for one who grasps an idea, but knows nothing of the delights that flow from it.
(Sefer HaZohar 2:176a-b)Dorothy, the above came to mind after reading your words. It also made me turn to my notes which say; “wheat seeds must rot for new wheat to germinate.” Let go of what you know. Restrict your thoughts, take them captive so there is room for the new wheat to grow. I am not a instructor, just a student on this learning path the same as you. I don’t have all the answers but felt compelled to share these words with you.
I am grateful to have guided study. There is so much that it can feel overwhelming. I am grateful to have others that I can share with and whose comments I can read. I hope we can continue to support each other.
By becoming more and more conscious of Him.
In all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.
Ricki, I experience it sometimes too. Not just with KabU but in other incidents too. I served as a council member for my city and would get anxious when I prepared something to say that I had to address. I could feel and hear my heartbeat thump so loudly and felt like everyone must see how nervous I was. I started calling it my warrior drum, lol. But the conversation that ensued after was always easier. I am far better and more comfortable writing to express myself and to communicate. Having naturally occurring conversations is much easier for me too. My advice is to not let it stop you. Breath through it. Inhale for a count of three, hold for a count of three and then exhale for a count of three.
