[Kyro]

I think transitioning from a self-centered perception of reality to one grounded in altruism entails gradually recognizing the limitations of our egoistic perception and reaching the desire to correct our intention. Instead of perceiving everything only through my own desire to receive, I begin learning to rise above my ego and perceive the desires of others as my own.

[Kyro]

What I hope to get out of this course is, I guess, more input, more Light, so to speak, that I can take with me and then see what it does inside me over the following days and weeks. I tend to take these courses quite slowly. Apparently life usually has other plans for me, so sometimes one “week” of the course takes me a month. But I actually kind of like that, because the material stays with me for a while.

That was also my experience with the previous course. I would take in a lot of things, and then they would somehow sit inside me and bring up questions, or I would notice new desires and thoughts appearing in my corporeal life. I don’t always know immediately what to make of them, and sometimes it gets a little messy in there, but somehow I feel like I need that.

I don’t really know whether to call it my brain or my intuition, but there is something in me that keeps saying, “This is right. Put this inside your head and then go out into the world and see what happens.” 😅

I think of it a little like a plant getting sunlight. I don’t necessarily know beforehand exactly what the sunlight is going to do to the plant, but I’m also not stupid enough to say no to it. So I suppose that’s my expectation for this course: to keep taking in the material, give it time, and then later look back and see what actually changed in me, including the things I didn’t expect.

[Kyro]

I think my best experience from the previous course was all the questions it awakened in me. I received a lot of new input, but what stayed with me most was how it made me question and examine things internally, sometimes long after the lesson itself. For this course, I honestly don’t have one big expectation. It just feels right to continue, learn more, and see where the material takes me.

[Kyro]

Hi Seth, thank you again for your previous answers. They’ve helped me clarify a lot, and I have one more question that I think is underneath many of the others I’ve been asking.

If the Creator is described in Kabbalah as the absolute quality of bestowal and as “the good who does good,” how should we understand the radically unequal suffering of individual people, especially suffering that begins before a person has any conscious ability to do spiritual work?

For example, one child may grow up with protection, belonging and emotional support, while another may spend many years in an abusive or psychologically confusing environment, feeling ashamed, isolated and unsupported, and may need years simply to become stable enough to participate normally in life.

I understand that we should not interpret this as punishment or karma from a previous incarnation. But does Kabbalah teach that such specific corporeal circumstances are individually arranged according to a soul’s root or Reshimot, or would that already be an interpretation that we are not able to make from our present level?

I also struggle with what kind of relationship the Creator has with the individual. In some Jewish and Hasidic teachings, God is spoken about very intimately, almost as if He has a particular concern and need for each person. In the Kabbalistic language I am learning, the Creator often sounds more like the general law or quality of bestowal in nature. How should I understand the difference? Is there, in Kabbalah, an intimate relationship between the Creator and an individual created being, or is that way of speaking primarily a corporeal metaphor?

And one related question: I have heard instructors say that if someone has trauma or psychological problems, these should be treated on the corporeal level, just as one would go to a doctor for a broken leg. That makes sense to me. But then KabU also teaches about marriage and relationships from a Kabbalistic perspective. How should I understand the boundary? When is Kabbalah speaking about spiritual correction, and when is it simply offering guidance for living more healthily in the corporeal world?

I think what I am really trying to understand is this: if a person has a point in the heart but also carries very difficult human circumstances, what does Kabbalah actually say about the meaning of that person’s individual life, rather than only about the general system of Adam HaRishon?

[Kyro]

When you say that eventually the ego must relinquish its rule, this actually frightens me a little, because from my present perspective I am the will to receive. My desires for intimacy, belonging, freedom, aliveness, creativity, adventure and a home are what currently make life meaningful to me.

I understand that Kabbalah says the desire itself isn’t destroyed, but the intention over it changes. Could you explain what that means experientially?

Am I eventually supposed to stop valuing these corporeal desires because spiritual fulfillment becomes greater, or can I continue genuinely wanting and living them while acquiring an additional spiritual desire?

I think this is where I am stuck. I am curious about what lies beyond corporeal perception, but I don’t yet experience spiritual fulfillment, whereas I do experience these human desires directly. So when I hear “there is a much greater pleasure,” part of me asks: why should I exchange what I actually know and love for something I cannot yet understand?

Is the path asking me to choose between them, or am I misunderstanding what “relinquishing the ego’s rule” means?

[Kyro]

I’m trying to understand something more fundamental about why a person would choose the path of Kabbalah at all.

For a while I thought I first needed to become more stable in corporeal life — to work through psychological and emotional issues, build stable relationships, develop more agency, and generally become capable of functioning well in ordinary life — before seriously continuing with Kabbalah.

But this has created another question for me.

Suppose I actually do all of that. Suppose I become psychologically stable, have meaningful relationships, can regulate myself well, have a stable life, and can function normally in the corporeal world.

I’ve heard several times that Kabbalah itself does not promise to improve any of those things. It does not necessarily improve relationships, finances, self-esteem, emotional health, or ordinary happiness. Those belong to corporeal life and may require their own work.

So then I find myself asking very simply: why should I pursue Kabbalah?

I understand intellectually that the goal is revelation of the Creator, correction of the desire, equivalence of form, and acquisition of spiritual perception. But I’m trying to understand what that actually means from the perspective of the person who has not attained it yet.

What does spiritual attainment give that makes a person genuinely want it?

If a corrected person can still have the same corporeal difficulties, what is fundamentally different in their experience of reality? What is the “reward” that the ego is supposed to be able to orient toward before it has any direct experience of the spiritual world?

I think underneath my technical question there is a very simple one: if Kabbalah does not promise me anything I currently recognize as fulfillment, why should my heart want to walk this path?

[Author]

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