[Kyro]

Hi Seth, thank you again for your previous answers. They’ve helped me clarify a lot, and I have one more question that I think is underneath many of the others I’ve been asking.

If the Creator is described in Kabbalah as the absolute quality of bestowal and as “the good who does good,” how should we understand the radically unequal suffering of individual people, especially suffering that begins before a person has any conscious ability to do spiritual work?

For example, one child may grow up with protection, belonging and emotional support, while another may spend many years in an abusive or psychologically confusing environment, feeling ashamed, isolated and unsupported, and may need years simply to become stable enough to participate normally in life.

I understand that we should not interpret this as punishment or karma from a previous incarnation. But does Kabbalah teach that such specific corporeal circumstances are individually arranged according to a soul’s root or Reshimot, or would that already be an interpretation that we are not able to make from our present level?

I also struggle with what kind of relationship the Creator has with the individual. In some Jewish and Hasidic teachings, God is spoken about very intimately, almost as if He has a particular concern and need for each person. In the Kabbalistic language I am learning, the Creator often sounds more like the general law or quality of bestowal in nature. How should I understand the difference? Is there, in Kabbalah, an intimate relationship between the Creator and an individual created being, or is that way of speaking primarily a corporeal metaphor?

And one related question: I have heard instructors say that if someone has trauma or psychological problems, these should be treated on the corporeal level, just as one would go to a doctor for a broken leg. That makes sense to me. But then KabU also teaches about marriage and relationships from a Kabbalistic perspective. How should I understand the boundary? When is Kabbalah speaking about spiritual correction, and when is it simply offering guidance for living more healthily in the corporeal world?

I think what I am really trying to understand is this: if a person has a point in the heart but also carries very difficult human circumstances, what does Kabbalah actually say about the meaning of that person’s individual life, rather than only about the general system of Adam HaRishon?

[Kyro]

When you say that eventually the ego must relinquish its rule, this actually frightens me a little, because from my present perspective I am the will to receive. My desires for intimacy, belonging, freedom, aliveness, creativity, adventure and a home are what currently make life meaningful to me.

I understand that Kabbalah says the desire itself isn’t destroyed, but the intention over it changes. Could you explain what that means experientially?

Am I eventually supposed to stop valuing these corporeal desires because spiritual fulfillment becomes greater, or can I continue genuinely wanting and living them while acquiring an additional spiritual desire?

I think this is where I am stuck. I am curious about what lies beyond corporeal perception, but I don’t yet experience spiritual fulfillment, whereas I do experience these human desires directly. So when I hear “there is a much greater pleasure,” part of me asks: why should I exchange what I actually know and love for something I cannot yet understand?

Is the path asking me to choose between them, or am I misunderstanding what “relinquishing the ego’s rule” means?

[Kyro]

I’m trying to understand something more fundamental about why a person would choose the path of Kabbalah at all.

For a while I thought I first needed to become more stable in corporeal life — to work through psychological and emotional issues, build stable relationships, develop more agency, and generally become capable of functioning well in ordinary life — before seriously continuing with Kabbalah.

But this has created another question for me.

Suppose I actually do all of that. Suppose I become psychologically stable, have meaningful relationships, can regulate myself well, have a stable life, and can function normally in the corporeal world.

I’ve heard several times that Kabbalah itself does not promise to improve any of those things. It does not necessarily improve relationships, finances, self-esteem, emotional health, or ordinary happiness. Those belong to corporeal life and may require their own work.

So then I find myself asking very simply: why should I pursue Kabbalah?

I understand intellectually that the goal is revelation of the Creator, correction of the desire, equivalence of form, and acquisition of spiritual perception. But I’m trying to understand what that actually means from the perspective of the person who has not attained it yet.

What does spiritual attainment give that makes a person genuinely want it?

If a corrected person can still have the same corporeal difficulties, what is fundamentally different in their experience of reality? What is the “reward” that the ego is supposed to be able to orient toward before it has any direct experience of the spiritual world?

I think underneath my technical question there is a very simple one: if Kabbalah does not promise me anything I currently recognize as fulfillment, why should my heart want to walk this path?

[Kyro]

I guess my role is to be one brave little droplet in the endless ocean – to work with the desire that has awakened in me, let the reforming Light change my intention, and learn to reconnect my part with the whole rather than trying to carry or control the entire process?

[Kyro]

Hello!

How do we distinguish between ego resistance to connection and genuine emotional dysregulation? How should we pace participation in the environment when we are working through personal instability?

[Kyro]

At this stage, helping others doesn’t mean giving something spiritual, since I don’t yet have the quality of bestowal. For me, it means working with my intention in the environment — not using others for validation, control, or withdrawal, and trying to stay present even when it’s uncomfortable.

When I reduce how much I relate to the group from self-interest, I contribute to a cleaner shared space. That makes it easier for the reforming light to work on all of us, including myself.

[Author]

Replies