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The creator sees things as they really are I am a created being and until and if I achieve equivalence with the creator or the creator reveals reality to me any speculation can only be an act of ego.
Since I started studying the Kabbalah I am finding a conflict with my Christian religion that is causing me to find my belief unhelpful, especially with the belief in the Trinity. I find it impossible to say the creed. or any prayers that mention Jesus, the Holy Spirit or three persons in one God. I am also worried that my participation in Christian belief cause the creator pain/offence. other Christians may find no conflict. but because I do should I put aside my Christian Religion and concentrate on the Kabalah alone.
To seek unity with the creator and how I may best serve him to bring about the changes within myself and the world.
As I understand it if I accept the point in the heart and desire union with the creator I only have free will to take the way of pain or the path of light. As I allow the Creator to draw me into the light the more I understand the Creator, and the more I receive then I find ways to give.
Before I came across the teachings of the Kabbalah. I went through a period where I felt everything spiritual was taken away from me. I thought of this time as my dark night of the soul and that maybe God was testing me in some way. But even that comfort was taken away from me. Until I was in a state where I wandered in a world where there was no G-d. I began to try to reach g-d but tried to follow all sorts of other beliefs. Atheism,  Paganism, Wicca, native religions, and Natural Magic. Nothing made any difference and I wondered in Darkness. Then I came across some YouTube videos by Rabbi Jacobson and Rabbi Friedman. The more I watched the more I enjoyed them and the more they spoke to me. I began to feel excited and had a feeling of peace. I joined KabU and as I studied felt a growing sense of the creator’s presence. I am sure I have a long way to go, but my sense of peace has not wavered.
One thing that helps me to experience and believe that there is none else but Him. is to study the world around me and to recognise the hand of the Creator in all things. As I begin to understand this, I realise that I need no punishment for failure or praise for success because it is not I but the creator within me who is in control. this frees me to love because the creator’s love already fills me. The more I recognise this the more I too can become love.
