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This is the remarkable material. What I observed about myself and worked with is the ego-driven excitement and frustrations, i.e. I had to work with the fact that the material is fluid as it comes and then goes in terms of my SEEING it, understanding and feeling. On the other hand, I was able to relax into not judging myself for the imperfections as this is clearly not helpful in terms of my spiritual growth, and was an entirely new experience.
I NOW think that we have to immerse ourselves in the wisdom of Kabbalah offered here, I feel it working on me. I have to pay attention. Although I always paid attention to the quality of my deeds, feelings and thoughts and struggled with their imperfection,  I am seeing now that the struggle for “perfection of feelings and conduct” is not completely constructive. I have to let something else, more natural and organic to take seed and emerge.
Please, explain the difference between Phase 4 (complete acceptance of the role humans play within the relationship with the Creator, and Phase 2 (desire to give just as Creator does).
Hello, Tony:
As I was listening to your presentation during my week 1 course of Kabbalah Revealed, I had a profound experience of expansion. I will not describe it here, you know. I was not afraid, it happened to me before, when I was younger. The most extraordinary experience I had a long time ago, was in a class on Tanya. Thankfully, and understandably, the Rabbi saw what was happening with me, although I was trying to hide, and he guided me through it. This time, I am not sure how much time has passed while I was in this state. I was not able to do anything mundane but amazing synchronistic events happened. I could not sleep at night, and the following day, when I was back fully into the ordinary reality, I was quite uncomfortable emotionally. I was sad and anxious. My question – how do I “handle it”, how to be with it in the most meaningful, growth-oriented way? And how do I settle back?
Yelena Lebedinsky
